1. Juan wins. He wins the FRP Family Feud. The Texans beat the Redskins yesterday in one of the most mundane games I've ever watched, and this is coming from a guy who watches a LOT of Redskins games. It would be easy for me to say that the Redskins beat themselves, and those two ass-headed fumbles inside the RED ZONE!!!!!!111one would back me up if I did say it. But I'm not gonna. JJ Watt beat the Redskins yesterday, with some help from the rest of the Texans. Any team that plays Houston knows that, at some point, JJ Watt is going to be a problem. He's the most relentless and physically-dominating defensive player in the NFL. Yet, it seems like the Redskins didn't factor him into the game. Most of the time they had Logan Paulsen covering him. Logan Paulsen is our second-string tight end, and while he's a capable blocker, he is simply not, and never will be, up to the task of blocking JJ Watt. Sacks, hits, fumble recoveries, blocked extra points... JJ did it all yesterday. How do you not game plan for this guy? How does Jay Gruden not go to sleep at night for the last week thinking that JJ Watt is going to murder him in his sleep? I've seen quite a few people blame Robert Griffin III for this game, and while he did trip over his own feet on a handoff and lose a fumble (recovered by Watt), he did what he was supposed to do, for the most part. Yeah, he took too many hits, but he also had almost zero protection. Ease up, fellow Redskins fans, because Kirk Cousins could not have done any better.
2. So Romo threw three picks yesterday against San Francisco. All of them were stupid throws into ridiculous coverage. He didn't get a lot of work in the preseason, plus, he's Tony Romo and Tony Romo always does shit like that. That's why he's Tony Romo and I'm not. The joke well is dry, folks. It used to be funny to watch Romo blow it. Now it's just kinda sad. Or, if you're too deep into your own team's misery, irrelevant.
3. I made a snap decision yesterday morning on my fantasy football team to drop New Orleans' defense and plug in Denver's. I am at peace with my decision today. Atlanta vs New Orleans is always going to be a fun game to watch, and it might be the most underrated true rivalry in the league today. Atlanta showed exactly what they're capable of: winning high-scoring shootouts. That won't win any championships, but it always makes for fun games. They'll lose their fair share too, because their defense is toilet residue, but they'll still contend for the division, if not the conference. Also, The First Round Punter© legend Antone Smith hauled in a quick little checkdown pass for a 54-yard touchdown explosion. It's always fun when runningbacks do things like that, isn't it? It would get a guy some serious playing time in a fair and just world, but as we all know, that simply isn't how runningbacks are evaluated anymore. Either way, good win by Atlanta.
4. It was said by some of the Browns' players between seasons that that team quit on itself way too easily last year. And at 4-12, it's hard to dispute. After yesterday, I tend to think that problem has resolved itself. They were a hair away from a huge comeback win against Pittsburgh, but Pittsburgh still had Ben Roethlisberger and Roethlisberger is everything Tony Romo is not. Big Ben is a true paradox; when he's at his worst, when he loses his train of thought .02 seconds after the snap, that's when he's at his best. It's mind-blowing. Nonetheless, Cleveland may not pull together a winning record this year, but they will be IN every single game they play. This is not a team that quits on itself any longer. Praise be unto Brian Hoyer. Free Josh Gordon.
5. The Tennessee Titans. Someone I respect and admire very much picked this team to win the AFC South. If you think that's not in the realm of possibility, you're not paying attention. They ate Jamaal Charles alive yesterday. Made him look like a bitch. Also, Whisenhunt has this offense in sync. AFC South Champions (and no, that's not just to bust Juan's grapes. I really do believe this.).
6. I've said for years that Jeff Fisher looks like he belongs on a sex offender registry somewhere. Where he doesn;t seem to belong is in the head coach position in St. Louis. I was having this discussion with Juan yesterday, and he brought up the fact that the Rams lost Bradford for the season, and that can't possibly be Jeff Fisher's fault. However, not drafting a quarterback is on Fisher. Not signing a QB is on Fisher. Not trading for a QB is on Fisher. Not bulking up the Rams' receiving corps is on Fisher. They looked putrid yesterday. For Fisher's sake, I hope he got one of those Mike Shanahan-style deals, because if his seat wasn't warming up before, it is now.
7. I don't even have a real analytical thought in my head about the New England/Miami game. I'm just as confused as everyone else.
8. The Hollywood All-Star Magical Game Of The Week goes to Philly vs Jacksonville. Sure, it's Jacksonville. But in a week full of authentic-looking football games, there had to be a fix thrown in somewhere. Who doesn't love a good come-from-behind win?
That's all I have for Sunday. So tonight is the debut of Monday Night Football. The Giants vs the Lions, the Cardinals vs the Chargers. GEE, I SURE DO HOPE THE GIANTS ARE FACTORING CALVIN JOHNSON INTO THEIR DEFENSIVE GAMEPLAN *coughcoughCaptainObviouscough*. As for the other game, how non-descript can you get? It could be a fun game, but I'll believe it when I see it. Does San Diego get the Monday Night game every first game nowadays, or is that just my imagination? Maybe I'll look into it. I smell a scandal brewing!
Take care, keep reading, and I'll "see" you next Monday!
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