The Monday Sunday Roundup: The Pursuit of Happiness

Good morning, folks.  I come to you today a very tired man.  I don't know why I'm so persistently sluggish lately, but I do know that these 9-10 hour nights at work aren't exactly helping matters.  I'm basically forcing this entry through today, because I didn't want to do it on Tuesday when the word Tuesday appears nowhere in the title.  So let's hop to.

1.  I came out of the closet last Monday, in a manner of speaking.  Maybe a better way to say it is that I revealed a dark secret (that has nothing to do with me being gay.  I'm not gay.  Honest.  Not that there's anything wrong with it.) that I'd been keeping for a lot of years.  Since it's no longer a secret, let me just say that right now, the Cleveland Browns are my preferred team to watch on television.  They're not my favorite team; they're a distant #2, or 1A if you wanna split hairs.  But I would rather watch this team play football right now than I would the Washington Redskins.  Why?  Because you know they're gonna do something cool at some point in the game.  You know the other team is scared poopless that Brian Hoyer is gonna explode and rain touchdowns all over the field.  They're terrified that Ben Tate is gonna run for first down after first down until he runs out of the stadium and into traffic.  The Browns are for real, people.  The beating they laid on Pittsburgh yesterday shouldn't have come as a shock to me, but it did. It did because as good as they've looked this season, they never seemed to know how to be frontrunners.  All their best work has come when their back was against the wall.  Yesterday they never took their foot off the Steelers' necks, and it was magnificent.  Honestly, I'm about two or three more of these games away from staking my claim as a full-blown Cleveland Browns fan.  It's not bandwagoning if you've been doing it in secret for yeas, right?

2.  And speaking of the Redskins, uh, yeah.  I'm not sure what's happening here.  Kirk Cousins looks every bit like the franchise QB they need.  He knows his stuff and he executes when given the proper opportunity to do so.  So why can't they win a game?  The defense is still somewhat of a liability, so there's that, but I don't wanna be for Kirk Cousins what so many of my fellow Redskins fans were for Jason Campbell for so many years: an enabler.  They made excuse after excuse as to why Campbell couldn't get it done, when the answer was perfectly clear:  he sucks.  He's not a good QB.  But Cousins is.  This is what makes it so frustrating.  Is it the playcalling?  The offensive line?  I honestly cannot figure this out, and it's pissing me off.  It's forcing me to take solace in watching the Browns.  It's making me peruse NFLshop.com looking at Isaiah Crowell jerseys.  (I always go with the guy in the shadows.  I wouldn't buy a Hoyer or Manziel jersey, or for that matter, an RG3 jersey.  Isaiah Crowell?  Sure.  Darrel Young?  You bet your ass.)

3.  And on the shit side of this particular coin, I have to give credit where credit is due:  The Dallas Cowboys look like a for realz contender this year.  They are playing the best football they've played in years.  Romo is still Romo, and he's always gonna be Romo and do Romo things, but they are playing waaaaaaaay above their talent level against tough opponents and kicking the crap out of them.  On the bright side, Dallas & Philly are making the NFC East look like the NFC East of old.  On the dark side, that conference/division loyalty garbage is for lame-ass college football fans and both teams can eat rocks.  

4.  If you thought I was going to stop beating the Antone Smith drum, you were wrong.  Not until he is allowed to become the lethal weapon that he's already shown he can be.  What do the Falcons have to lose at this point?  Their defense is dog slobber, their offensive line isn't any better, and he's still being referred to as a "big play specialist."  You know who else is a big play specialist?  Calvin Johnson.  And the Lions have Calvin Johnson on the field for 99.99992% of their offensive plays.  But that's none of my business, I guess.  If Atlanta is trying to lowball him come contract time, great.  Come to our nation's capital, Antone.  Nobody in Washington cares if you can pass block, because nobody else on the team can do it either.  Instead of that one big play per game, you can make several.  It's time.

5.  Oakland almost pulled it off.  Tony Sparano had them in every second of that game against San Diego.  They lost, because the Raiders lose, but if I had to guess, I'd say that team is looking up.  It's hard not to when you're below rock bottom, but sometimes that spark is all you need.  

OK, that's it for this week.  I simply don't care about the Rams/49ers game tonight.  And I'm sorry for the downbeat tone of this entry, but again, I'm tired.  And cranky.  That's never a good combination.  At least I don't have a headache.  Whatever problem you're having in your life always seems a bajillion times worse when you have a headache.  So there's that.  Take care.