I Blurb You To Death

Hello again, lovelies.  I realized earlier tonight that the NFL season is simply not long enough to accommodate more than three of these, at most, per season.  Of course, that is based solely on my undesirable work schedule, which I do not control.  The last one I did was when the Atlanta Falcons shelled the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, which sadly was the last win the Falcons have had to this date.  But if you're gonna go out, go out with a bang, amirite?  The primary differences between these and my Monday Sunday Roundups are that, with these, I get the opportunity to focus on one game at a time.  I can't do that with regular game days because my head is on a swivel on Sundays (or at least the Sundays I get the opportunity to watch more than one game).  Also, I only get this chance once every six weeks.  So tonight, the Carolina Panthers hosted the New Orleans Saints.  The Saints won 28-10.  Yadda yadda, blah blah.  Here's my takeaways.

I'm Gonna Be Somebody

Mark Ingram.  He won a Heisman Trophy.  He was a first-round draft pick.  But since these two things happened, he has more or less faded away into obscurity.  The University of Alabama churns out these types of running backs.  In theory, at least.  LOL @ Trent Richardson.  Also, Sean Payton seems to have an eye for good running backs that will never make it in New Orleans becuz Sean Payton is a dumbass and Drew Brees (and his hideous facial scar) run the show there.  It's hard to be a good RB in a city, on a team, where you have an elite quarterback.  Mark Ingram says bollocks to these stereotypes.  He beat the injury bug to become the best RB the Saints have seen since Deuce McAllister.  He seems to have taken some of the good qualities from most, if not all, of the best in the league at that position.  Arian Foster's field vision and patience?  Ingram has a piece of that.  Adrian Peterson's violence?  Ingram has most of that too, though I doubt he beats children until they bleed.  Darren Sproles' speed and catching ability?  He may not be on THAT level, but he's fast and has great hands.  So is it better to be some of everything than all of one thing?  Maybe it is.  And yes, I left out a fact that everyone seems to care about but me:  the guy can pass block.  He's excellent at it.  He aims low and doesn't exaggerate the situation.  Ingram is in the last year of his rookie contract, and he's having a good one.  The Saints are about to have to make an important decision; they have to either seal Ingram up so he can't go to Atlanta, or they have to bank on Payton's ability to pick up a guy that nobody else sees any value in, that will then become the next Mark Ingram.  Talk about a good problem to have, huh?  Ingram, no matter who he ends up playing for, is going to be the free agent steal of the 2015 season.  He is every bit as good as advertised.  It just took him four years to demonstrate it.  

What Might Have Been

Mark Ingram reminds me a lot of a guy that was drafted in 2008 by the Carolina Panthers.  He has elite talent, but is made of glass.  Jonathan Stewart is the most frustrating player in the NFL today.  He is a boss.  He runs hard, fast, and dangerously.  He should be in the conversation with the Demarco Murrays, Lesean McCoys, Arian Fosters, Adrian Petersons, and Marshawn Lynches of the world, but a guy will never be in that conversation if he only plays maybe five games a year.  Stewart was already being called elite the year he was drafted, but his acquisition that year (2008) only served to motivate Deangelo Williams to run for 15,000 yards and 76 touchdowns.  Stewart was definitely in the picture that year, but he took a backseat.  Deangelo had a year for the ages in 2008;  I remember watching a Monday Night Football game that year with a good friend of mine.  It was against Tampa Bay, and we were outside looking through the window as the second half started.  Stewart had already gotten two games of production in the first half, so the Panthers gave him a break and put Williams in the game.  First play of the half, I turned to my friend and said "watch this."  Jake Delhomme gave the ball to Williams and he ran something like 60 yards right into the end zone, untouched.  He was the second best runner on his team.  So now, Deangelo Williams is 30 and is going through a progression that all 30-year-old RB's go through; namely, he sucks now.  Stewart does not.  But you don't know it because he never plays.  Stewart has all the ability that the best guys in the league have.  But he broke both his hand and his jaw giving a post-game interview because he held a microphone.  In retrospect, I could have given him an award that Jake Locker and RG3 got, but since he is always inactive, until tonight I kinda forgot about him.  It's sad, really.  Jonathan Stewart annoys me to no end, because he should have been an all-timer by now, but he just couldn't stay upright. (Update:  Stewart was reading this blog when he got glaucoma staring at his computer screen.  He's questionable for week 10.)

Who The Hell Are You?!

One thing I noticed, sort of in my periphery, is that Drew Brees completed about 100 passes tonight to a guy wearing a #84 jersey.  I figured it was a backup tight end because I couldn't get a clear camera shot of the guy's name.  Speaking of tight ends, did you all know that Jimmy Graham played basketball?  Because he played basketball.  He's a former basketball player whose skills as a tight end are 95% reliant on the fact that he's tall and he used to play basketball.  SHUT THE HELL UP.  HE DOESN'T PLAY BASKETBALL ANYMORE.  Anyway, I could not figure out for the life of me who #84 was until near the end of the game, when it was revealed to be a guy named Kenny Stills.  I know the name.  I've never actually seen him catch a pass before, and that could be due to the fact that I don't watch the Saints play a lot.  But this guy was making some ridiculous catches.  Urgent catches.  You don't catch a cold as efficiently as this guy was catching footballs.  Brees is gonna need this guy pretty much from now until the end of his career, which I predict will be two years from now.  Stills is the sort of guy that every team has at least one of, but never gets the credit he deserves.  Andre Roberts is one of those guys.  Harry Douglas is another one.  Nate Burleson was for the longest time.  So was Earl Bennett.  And Jason Avant.  Wes Welker made being that kind of guy famous.  These guys are the heart of the NFL.  I'm rooting for him.

You Are Poop

Sorry, Cam Newton, but I really wanted to give you the benefit of a doubt.  I wanted to think that you weren't just a guy who can run the ball really well and could also throw it from time to time.  I wanted you to not be the next Michael Vick.  But I give up.  I understand it's not all Cam's fault, because his top receiver, me, was out with a leg injury.  Seriously, that team has the worst receiving corps in the history of the planet.  Kelvin Benjamin shows promise, but until he gets a better QB than Cam Newton, he's not going to amount to much.  You know the situation is bad when I say, out loud, "Derek Anderson is better than you" to someone who is not Brady Quinn or John Skelton.

Other than this, the game was pretty ho-hum.  I don't know the NFL's scheduling policies, but they need to change in order for their flagship network to not showcase a game between two teams with losing records.  But whatever, I don't pay for the Network anyway.  And Thursday games always tend to be asshole.  So that does it for tonight, and I'll see you guys on Monday!